Core Dumps Life In General

A Hunter’s Christmas Lament

My sister June Donaghy Kramin (AKA, Aunty Bug) and her husband Thomas Kramin live in Minnesota. He liked my little TSA Christmas Carol, and challenged me to come up with one for him. He’s an avid hunter, and once I got rolling on this I couldn’t stop. Took all of 10 minutes:

(Sung to the melody of “A Christmas Song”)

Tom’s nuts roasting on a barbeque
‘Cause he pissed off Aunty Bug
He shot at a deer but his aim was untrue
Now there’s one less cat for her to hug

The ground’s too hard for him to dig a hole
So the cat’s just chilling in the barn
It’ll keep until spring, he gives thanks for the cold
And hopes she lets him stay on the farm

He knows that hell he’ll have to pay
How she’ll take it isn’t very hard to say
He puts the kevlar vest upon his chest
And walks toward the house where she’s at rest

Tom sleeps in the barn with a frozen pet
And he will for the rest of his life
They say that an elephant never forgets
And sadly neither does his wife

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